Here I Go
by Blue Angel 1245
Summary: Songfic set to the song Here I Go by one voice. Koenma breaks Botans heart can she ever learn to love again? BotanHiei Review please!


Bold is the lyrics. The song is called Here I go by one voice. I own nothing, but the actual story. Lyrics, singers and YYH belong to their respective owners

I swore i'd never get involved 

_**Said i'd never ever fall in love**_

_**cuz it hurt me once before**_

_**would it hurt me ne more**_

_**since then time has changed it's different now..**_

_**hypnotized by you and wondered how**_

_**i fell into your arms, and i was captured by your charm**_

It was over. There was nothing that she could do to try and mke him love her again. He had told her, in a cold voice he never wanted to see her again. There in her mind she could still see the cold look in his eyes as he dismissed her one final time and told her to pack her things. From this time on she was banished from Rekai. He made her human and kicked her out. As she left and said her good-byes she tried to not let the tears fall. She didn't understand. Everything seemed fine and then he was kicking her out saying he never wanted to see her agsin. It was as if those centuries of working together never happened as if, he had never loved her. She didn't know where to go anymore, or who to turn to. She arrived in ningenkai and just wandered. She had only one suitcase with her that held her most prized pessesions. Mostly pictures of the gang, before she and koenma haad become a couple. When they had been happy. "Never again will I be stupid enough to give up my heart to someone. It will just get stepped on again." She muttered angrily to herself. Slowly she made her way to Yusuke's house. It was getting cold out and she knew he'd let her stay.

_**lost and scared as i can be**_

_**cant help thinking of the mystery**_

_**that i shared in my first love,**_

_**like a pair of mismatched gloves**_

_**and now you've found your way into my world**_

_**touched the woman deep inside the girl**_

_**can you tell me if it's real?**_

_**I've forgotten how to feel**_

Yusuke was shocked to see her on his front step. He let her in and led her into the living room. There sat Kurama, Hiei, Keiko and Shizuru. Kuwabara and Yukina were on a date. They other four in the room looked up surprised to see the deity. They took in her sad face and the fact that she had a suitcase with her. "Botan what happened?"Yusuke said as he sat her on the couch. That did it. Her dam broke and the tears fell. Keiko immedily rushed to her side and hugged her trying to comfert the woman. "He kicked me out." She said between sobs. Yusuke's eyes widened in surprise then narrowed in anger. Shizuru's eyes narrowd to slits and she looked ready to hit something. Kurama glanced to Hiei and saw him bearly restraining his anger. He noticed that his hand was on his katana. "Why?" Keiko asked shocked. "I don't know. He didn't really give me an answer. He called me into his office and told me to pack my thins that he never wanted to see me again. Then he made me human and sent me here." She said her eyes welling with fresh tears. Kurama had moved to Hiei and put a hand on his arm to calm him. "I though things were fine between us. I mean he still acted the same. He even kissed me lastnight before I left him to go to bed. Then this morning first thing he did was call me into his office and tell me to leave. Oh Keiko! His voice was so cold, so cold. I didn't even recognize him. What did I do wrong?" Botan asked as she fell in keikos comforting embrace. "Nothing" the quiet words shocked everyone in the room as they were uttered by Hiei. "You didn't do anything wrong. There must be another reason he kicked you out." Botan's head moved from keiko's shoulder to where she could see the small kroomine. Hiei moved to be closer to the group. Botan looked at him and then at the others."yes Hiei is right. Something fishy is going on here." Kurama agreed as he looked at Yusuke. Shizuru moved to sit on the other side od Botan and lend her comfert. The three guys inched to the door with a quick "stay here!" from yusuke they were gone.

Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei walked silently trough the hall of the Reikai palace. "Koenma!" Yusuke bellowed as he threw the door open to Koenma's office. "Get.." before yusuke could say anything the sound of Hiei's Katana being drawn was heard. Hiei was then seen holding said katana to the ruler's neck. "speak before I kill you. If your lucky and I like your reasdn I'll make your death less painful." He hissed out between his teeth. Koenma looked scared, but tried to remain in control "How dare you come in here and threten me! I'll have you in Reikai prison…" "Do not even think you are scaring me with your threats you fool! You were suppose to love her! She gave you her heart and you squished it like a bug! Your don't deserve to kiss the ground she walks on! Now speak!" Hiei growled out to the teenage ruler. Yusuke and Kurama just stood there and watched everyrthing that transpired. "Woah Hiei perhaps you should calm down and put your katana away before you do something you'll regret later." Yusuke said pulling Hiei's attention away from Koenma. "Thank you Yusuke." Koenma said smiling a little at him. "Shut up. Your lucky I am not shooting your ass halfway to Makai by now toddler!" Yusuke sneared. "Now tell us why you kicked her out! Why you made her think you loved her and why you made her cry!" Koenma shrank back into his chair as far as he could go. "well…you see…it's just.." Hiei rolled his eyes at Koenma's stuttering. "Out with it you fool!" he snapped. " I am in love with someome else." Koenma squweked popping into his toddler form out of fear. "we've been seeing eachother for several months now and I …" "You have lead Botan on for months now that you loved her and you have been cheating. You are not worthy of her!" Hiei's anger got the better of him and he threw his katana at the wall right next to Koenma's head. It grazed his ear lightly and he knew that if he said one more thing wrong it would not be the wall it was aimed at. "so why did you send her away?" Kurama asked in his usual calm voice that was masking the anger he felt. "Ayame and I are getting married and I didn't think it would be appropriete to keep Botan here." He said looking fearfully at the three demons in front of him. Yusuke was seething in anger, Kurama was having a hard time controlling his anger and his eyes flashed gold. Hiei growled low in his throat telling Koenma he had just succeded in p;issing him off more. Yusuke stalked up to Koenma and punched him in the face. "You stay away from her do you hear me?" Then he turned and left before he did anything else other then give the prince a black eye. Kurama followed after him so as to not do anything and Hiei walked over to the wall and grabbed his katana out of it. He then pressed it to Koenma;s throat. "You had better not let me catch you near Botan at all or godling or not I will kill you do you understand me?"he sneared into koenma's ear. "y..yes" Koenma stuttered his answer and winced as a shallow cut was left where the katana had been. Hiei was gone.

_**and here i go...fallin in love again**_

_**(falling in love again..fallin in love again)**_

_**here i go..falling in love again**_

_**(falling in love again..falling in love again)**_

Back at Yusuke's house Botan was now calm and sat with Keiko and Shizuru wondering whenthe boys would be back. As if soummend by her thoughts the door opened and slammed shut a minute later. "Yusuke where did you guys go?" Keiko asked as they walked back into the room. "To see that no good toddler!" he muttered. "We uh..found out why he kicked you out." Kurama started, but was once again shocked by the fire demon. "He has been cheating on you for several months with Ayame and told us they are getting married. He didn't think it was appropiete for you to stay there being his ex-girlfriend and all." Hiei's eyes blazed a bright red indicating his anger. Botan's eyes closed at his words and her lips began to tremble. "I knew it! I knew the looks he gave her were more then that of a friend. I am so stupid to belive anyone could love me." She whispered to herself. "Stop that right now!" Hiei's deep voice startled her and she turned to look at him. "You deserve love like anyone else and Koenma lost a very special woman when he gave you up." Hiei moved to sit next to her, completely ignoring Keiko's gaping jaw, Yuskue;s snickering and Shizuru's and Kurama's knowing smiles. Somehow his words seemed to calm her and her tears stopped. She smiled softly at Hiei. "Thank you Hiei." She murmered to him. "Hn." He said moving away from her to the corner.

_**here i go falling in love again**_

_**the damage is already done **_

_**how can i ever turn my back on loving you**_

_**here i go giving my all again**_

_**i'm ready to show what i feel**_

_**if you will, take this loving to your heart...**_

Over the next weeks Botan gradually became the old Botan they had all come to expect out of her. She smiled and laughed and was her bubbly self. She was slowly healing and her heart mending. She had also been spending more time with Hiei. Wether it was spent with her talking and him listening or just her sitting under his tree as he napped. The others had noticed their change in their relationship as well and were happy for the former spirit guide and the fire demon. "think they know yet?" Yukina asked Keiko as they watched the pair during one of th many gatherings the group had. "Nope." She said shaking her head. They smiled as they watched Hiei jump down from his tree and walki with Botan back to the temple for dinner.

Slowly Botan began to recognize the fluttering feeling in her stomuch when she was around Hiei. ' No! I promised my self I wouldn't do this again. I promised I wouldn't let my heart be broken again. I can't be…falling in love again.' She thought in a panick when she finally realized her feelings. It was that same day that Hiei came to her with a question. "Botan, I know things with Koenma didn't work out and I know you were hurt deeply by him,but could you ever find it in your heart to love again?" he asked her all the while staring into her eyes. He say her waring emotions as they flew across her face. Happiness, fear, anger, shock and sadness. ":I don't know if I can. I can't stand the thought of getting my heart broken a second time." She finally whisperd out.

_**and now you've found your way into my world**_

_**touched the woman deep inside the girl**_

_**can you tell me if it's real?**_

_**I've forgotten how to feel**_

"How will I know if it is real? How will I know that my heart won't be stepped on and used like he did?" she went on when Hiei stayed quiet. "I don't even know if I remember how to love." She admitted to him in a sad voice. "Let me show you that love can be wonderful. That your heart is something to be cherished. Let me court you and show you happiness." Hiei said as he hugged her to him. Botan was shocked at his words and pulled away to search his eyes. In them she found nothing but honesty and love.

_**here i go...i'm giving my heart again**_

_**(fallin in love again)**_

_**seems like a battle i just cant win**_

_**(here i go..)**_

_**oh i'm in love and i cant win..(fallin in love again)**_

_**i'll be ready through thick and thin**_

_**(here i go..)**_

_**i'm falling in love again, i'm falling in love again**_

_**(falling in love again) i'm falling in love again**_

_**(here i go...) here i go, here i go, catch me i'm falling**_

_**(falling in love again)**_

_**i'm lost without your love**_

_**here i go..**_

Slowly she felt herself nod. "All right." She whispered her consent and she saw him smile slightly. "Show me how to love again Hiei." She said had he leaned down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. Botan's heart felt like it was beating a hundred miles a minute. It was a feeling she never had gotten when Koenma had kissed her. This was different, this was real. As Hiei pulled away from her he saw he eyes shine as she hugged him. "Hiei, do you love me?'" she asked as he held her. "Hn baka, what do you think?" he said gruffly, his mind still in a haze from their kiss. "That you love me." She answered. "Hn Then I love you" he said as he bent to kiss her again. He felt her smile against his lips and vowed then a d there to always make her smile. He would never make her cry like Koenma had. He would show her she was cherished and loved.


End file.
